Acum când sângele meu s-a preschimbat
în apă vino să te scalzi seara
la lumina astrelor pure pleoapele
mele vor rămâne închise pe veci
ca doi lotuşi calmi şi palizi
pe atât de negre pe atât de negre ape. O!
Nichita Danilov
Now that my blood has changed
to water come bathe this evening
in pure astral light my eyelids
will remain closed forever
like two lotuses calm and pale
on such black on such black water. O!
Poem in O
(tr. James Owen)James translated it after I complained about the translation he had posted on his blog - by Sean Cotter and published in second-hand souls - which sounds like this:
Now that my blood has changed
to water come tonight to swim
through transparent planetary light my
eyelids will lie flat forever closed
like pale lotuses floating calm
on water, so black, so black. O!
I think his version is so much better and I am grateful.
to water come tonight to swim
through transparent planetary light my
eyelids will lie flat forever closed
like pale lotuses floating calm
on water, so black, so black. O!
I think his version is so much better and I am grateful.
so serence.. lotus is considered as a symbol of novelty in Korea actually in Buddhism since it has such shiny green leaves with lovely flowers out in the muddy opaque pond of water..
ReplyDeleteFrumos! :)
ReplyDeletewhat a waste of the letter, though ;)
ReplyDeleteThe photo is brilliant, the poem too. the photo burns.your choice of the first transl. is better.
ReplyDeletedo you know of any other poem like 'Mostar rains'?
nice one james! loving the x image as well
ReplyDeleteC'est riche beau sensuel je ressent cela aujourd'hui peut être demain autrement. Du sable chaud sous nos pieds. Le nap très bien dans cette ensemble de couleurs si terre rouge.
ReplyDeletenice work, yes the other translation is very wooden compared to James'.
ReplyDeleteyes, peter, it is a very important symbol, I know. but I fail to think of that when I see them, because their sheer beauty fills me completely and then the thoughts are gone :-)
ReplyDeleteemese, vreau sa vad noua fotografie de la userpic, ma obsedeaza :-) nu o postezi?
ReplyDeleteeneles, i think too that O is such a wonderful sound that no picture and no words can do it justice - except music, perhaps jazz piano music in a dimly lit bar. which I cannot provide here, and unfortunately anywhere else. but i have a feeling that you know how to give the magnificent O what it deserves.
ReplyDelete(still, on my personal scale, O comes right after A, and not because of my narcissistic penchant :-), but because it is so deep and immense and mysterious, Rimbaud was right when he felt that nothing can match its reverberations except darkness: A noir, E blanc, I rouge, U vert, O bleu: voyelles)
kubla, thank you, it is a wonderful poem indeed - I can't remember how long it is since I last learned poetry by heart, but this just stayed in my head from the beginning.
ReplyDeleteif i come across something that I feel you might like, i will pass it on to you, rest assured.
(i will write more re your last post)
s & s (this being sorlil and swiss :-) yes, I think that james managed a wonderful translation - he complained that I didn't mention in the post that I have helped him :-), but really, all I did was to clarify the subtle difference in meaning regarding one or two synonyms.
ReplyDeleteAllan, ta description saisit des aspects qui sont pour moi essentiels par rapport a cette photo, merci - je me demande s'il n'y a pas un cote de purete la-bas aussi? ou peut-etre que je suis influencee par la symbolique de la fleur, je ne sais pas...
ReplyDeletethe poem and the photo blend so that it's hard to comment on just one or the other...
ReplyDeleteso, we are back to the impossible task of translating poetry... or is 'interpreting' better? in any case, i think of all the poets i can access because of those who have attempted the impossible task, and i am grateful.
I was, of course, referring to something completely different, but I see your point.
ReplyDeleteI know it, of course, eneles, but knowing isn't everything.
ReplyDeletei agree, the translation by james is far superior. much better poetic sensibility!
ReplyDeleteTa photo est fascinante. Je suis toujours éblouie quand j'arrive sur tes pages. Le grand format, le mystère de tes clichés, les couleurs. Je suis fan, absolument.
ReplyDeleteManuela, I think that it is your gaze that knows how to see the unity and wholeness of things, I have noticed this in your other comments too. a special quality...
ReplyDeleteas to poetry translation, this has indeed evolved to a constant topic of this blog, and I am happy about it because it is one of the most captivating fields without which, as you rightly say, we will be so much poorer...
joan, thank you, this will make james happy :-)
ReplyDeletebelle et claire source, tes mots me touchent beaucoup... et juste au moment ou je me preparais a poster un poeme que j'ai lu pour la premiere fois sur ton blog...
ReplyDeleteMinunata!!!
ReplyDelete