Wednesday 26 December 2007

A saudade de coisa nenhuma

because I've been dreaming all day about women lost on a winter forest path, their wings fallen, trapped in the same moment, the same place forever, longing for the nameless.

Tenho em mim como uma bruma
Que nada é nem contém
A saudade de coisa nenhuma,
O desejo de qualquer bem.

I have in me like a haze
Which holds and which is nothing
A nostalgia for nothing at all,
The desire for something vague.

(Fernando Pessoa)

Monday 24 December 2007

the unconceivable end

I dreamt of an image closely resembling this one, except one thing: instead of the bench, the lovers walking in the darkness found a white sofa by the road, open to wholeness. The lovers sat there for hours, holding each other, the moonlight filling the alleys with a strange transparency. I wonder: will my dreams give them back to me, again and again, the lovers with soft eyes and uncertain future, their countenance motionless, untouched by the cold passage of time, the sofa drifting away gently towards the unconceivable end.

deserving punishment is worse

The gods delight in instances of such testimony,

since they, thereby, give witness of their powers.

They often ease punishments and restore the sight

they've taken, when they see true penitence for sin.

Oh, I repent! If anything the wretched say's believed,

I repent, and feel the real torment of my actions.

Though exile is grief, my offence is more so:

and deserving punishment's worse than suffering it.

If the gods favoured me, and he most visible of them

should annul my sentence, the fault still exists forever.

At least death will make me, when it comes, no longer an exile:

but death can't arrange things so I never offended either.

So it's no wonder if my mind's decaying,

melting like water dripping from the snow.

(Ovid: Ex Ponto I. Ovid was banished to Tomis on the Pontus Euxinus - nowadays the Romanian town of Constanta on the Black Sea. He died in exile, after spending no less than ten years in sad solitude).

dead asters from exile

Saturday 22 December 2007

drinking xi hu long jing

The best quality tea must have creases like the leathern boot of Tartar horsemen, curl like the dewlap of a mighty bullock, unfold like a mist rising out of a ravine, gleam like a lake touched by a zephyr, and be wet and soft like a fine earth newly swept by rain.

Lu Yu, died 804, Chinese sage)

but there is also the refined voice - so familiar, so close, always here - whispering to my ear:

Time for you and time for me,

And time yet for a hundred indecisions,

And for a hundred visions and revisions,

Before the taking of a toast and tea.

T.S. Eliot, from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock")

Friday 21 December 2007

what makes the day sacred

oh gentle, your prayer - Show me the world that can not be erased -
I know enough about such worlds, but my blog is surely none of them. one simple click and it would be gone, and I fight this temptation every day now. perhaps I am too tired even for such a small gesture, despite its highly dramatic tension which I would normally find a way to enjoy :-)
I seam to have forgotten what makes the day sacred.

Sunday 16 December 2007

and the flowers for him are always dark red.

Friday 14 December 2007

L'Amour, Le Dedain et l'Esperance

Je t'ai prise avec toute ta beauté ta beauté plus riche que tous

.......les placers de la Californie ne le furent au temps de la

.......fièvre de l'or

J'ai empli mon avidité sensuelle de ton sourire de tes regards de

.......tes frémissements

J’ai eu à moi à ma disposition ton orgueil même quand je te tenais

.......courbée et que tu subissais ma puissance et ma domination

J’ai cru prendre tout cela ce n'était qu'un prestige

Et je demeure semblable à Ixion après qu'il eut fait l'amour avec

.......le fantôme de nuées fait à la semblance de celle qu'on appelle

.......Héra ou bien Junon l'invisible

Et qui peut prendre qui peut saisir des nuages qui peut mettre la

.......main sur un mirage et qu'il se trompe celui-là qui croit emplir bras de l'azur céleste

Guillaume Apollinaire

(Poèmes à Lou, L’amour, le dédain et l’espérance)

I have held you with all your beauty your beauty richer

.......than all the sands of California at the time of the rush

I have filled my hunger for your sensuality with your your looks your trembling

I have even had your pride in my power when I made bend and you submitted to my dominance

I thought to keep all that it was only a dream

And I am left like Ixion when he had made love to a

.......phantom of cloud in the shape of the goddess

.......called Hera or the unseeable Juno

And who can seize who can grasp cloud who can put

.......his hand on a mirage how he deceives himself

.......thinking he can fill his arms with the blue sky

(Poems to Lou, Love and Scorn and Hope)

Thursday 13 December 2007

Or I'd crawl to you baby
And I'd fall at your feet
And I'd howl at your beauty
Like a dog in heat
And I'd claw at your heart
And I'd tear at your sheet
I'd say please, please
I'm your man

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till Im gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love


Many men have loved the bells

you fastened to the rein,
and everyone who wanted you
they found what they will always want again.

Tuesday 11 December 2007


Alles ist Wundenschlagen,
und keiner hat keinem verziehn.
Verletzt wie du und verletzend,
lebte ich auf dich hin.

Die reine, die Geistberührung,
um jede Berührung vermehrt,
wir erfahren sie alternd,
ins kälteste Schweigen gekehrt

(Ingeborg Bachmann)


Each and every thing cuts wounds,
and neither of us has forgiven the other.
Hurting like you and hurtful,
I lived towards you.

Every touch augments
the pure, the spiritual touch;
we experience it as we age,
turned into coldest silence.

Monday 10 December 2007

Lady of the Lake

Then she caused it that a mist should arrive at that place, and the mist was of such sort that no one could penetrate into it, or sever it asunder, nor could any human eye see what was within.

Howard Pyle (The Story of King Arthur and His Knights)

Lady of the Lake

Then, when she had done all this, she went her way with all of her Court from that valley, making great joy in that she triumphed over Merlin.

Howard Pyle (The Story of King Arthur and His Knights)

Sunday 9 December 2007

the sleeping God

und die goldene blume der dankbarkeit bluehte zu den fuessen des schlafenden Gottes.

Saturday 8 December 2007

in the night of the glowing irises
I first found out what loneliness meant.

ueber gott und reh

Oft wenn ich dich in Sinnen sehe,

verteilt sich deine Allgestalt:
du gehst wie lauter lichte Rehe
und ich bin dunkel und bin Wald.


Often when I imagine you
your wholeness cascades into many shapes.
You run like a herd of luminous deer
and I am dark, I am forest.

Thursday 6 December 2007

Rose, oh reiner Widerspruch

Rose, oh reiner Widerspruch, Lust,
Niemandes Schlaf zu sein unter soviel

Rose, oh pure contradiction, joy
of being No-one's sleep, under so
many lids.

This enigmatic poem marks Rilke's gravestone. As the legend goes, it was the thorn of a rose which caused his death, poisoning his blood with supreme beauty (or so the poet believed). The most aethereal of all the deaths that I know of.

unter so viel lidern

the roses ah the roses

Macedonski, Stefan George's Romanian double, is said to have died on his poetry throne (though a very material one, since he used to sit there when receiving the homage of his worshippers). He had asked for a handkerchief imbued with rose fragrance and whispered - still loud enough for the devotees gathered at his feet to hear - 'the roses, ah the roses.' One knew how to die in beauty those days, and how to make the perfect show of it. Alas the likes of Wilde and George are so hard to find nowadays - I know perhaps three or four obsessed with pure beauty and possibly only one harbouring enough madness to be able to stage such a mortal rose libation.

Monday 3 December 2007

I vanish

Like dew drops
on a lotus leaf
I vanish.

Senryu, died June 2, 1827 , his death poem).

Sunday 2 December 2007

Friday 30 November 2007

es kommen haertere tage

Drüben versinkt dir die Geliebte im Sand,
er steigt um ihr wehendes Haar,
er fällt ihr ins Wort,
er befiehlt ihr zu schweigen,
er findet sie sterblich
und willig dem Abschied
nach jeder Umarmung.

Sieh dich nicht um.
Schnür deinen Schuh.
Jag die Hunde zurück.
Wirf die Fische ins Meer.
Lösch die Lupinen!

Es kommen härtere Tage.

(Ingeborg Bachmann)

Over there your love sinks in the sand

It climbs around her waving hair,

it breaks into her words,

it commands her to be still,

it finds her mortal

and willing to part

after every embrace.

Don't turn around.
Lace up your shoe.
Chase back the dogs.
Throw the fish in the sea.
Extinguish the lupins.

Harder days are coming.

Wednesday 28 November 2007

when in dreams


The waves are gathered
On the shore of Sumi Bay,
And in the gathered night,
When in dreams I go to you,
I hide from people's eyes.

(Fujiwara no Toshiyuki)

Tuesday 27 November 2007

Green Tea Mochi

green tea rice cakes
summer freshness
long since lost

Saturday 24 November 2007

and the bleeding rose has bloomed out of her.

and what is it to be the sister (3)

Haß verbrannte sein Herz, Wollust, da er im grünenden Sommergarten dem schweigenden Kind Gewalt tat, in dem strahlenden sein umnachtetes Antlitz erkannte.


Soft eyes Soft fingers

A man told her once: a woman caressing her hair while her eyes turn soft means she feels the need to be protected. She laughed. Those men. They think they know everything.

Friday 23 November 2007

go to sleep My Gentle One

she hasn't come. the image died. there was nothing left to keep it alive. to keep her alive.

Thursday 22 November 2007

The woman who calls herself the Gentle One and who eats every day whilst watching the tall old tree facing her window has exactly twenty-four hours to step out of her wounded self and to place her words beneath this image.

This image is hers, waiting for her.

Wednesday 21 November 2007

and what is it to be the sister (2)

Aus blauem Spiegel trat die schmale Gestalt der Schwester und er stürzte wie tot ins Dunkel.

(Georg Trakl)

Din oglinda albastra pasi faptura subtire a surorii si el se prabusi ca mort in intuneric.

From the blue mirror the narrow figure of the sister stepped and he fell as if dead into darkness.

Monday 19 November 2007

death of the innocent

out of her thin breath

the cup emerged

this transparent moment

in the corrupt air

death of the innocent

Saturday 17 November 2007

For Ana of the Thousand Stars, the silence she's yearning for.

Thursday 15 November 2007


În China antică, stelele erau inscripţii în piatră, presărate pe marginea drumurilor, înălţate pe un soclu, către cer, adresându-se peregrinilor necunoscuţi. Stelele orientate spre est vorbesc despre iubire, cele spre nord, despre prietenie.

Nu în pielea ta de piatră, insensibilă, le-ar place-acestor semne să pătrundă, şi nici spre zorii fără gust şi fără formă, ca de amurg, le-ar place, fiind libere, să-ntoarcă faţa.
Si nici pentru un cititor ales, de-ar fi chiar caligraf, plăcere n-ar simţi de-ar fi rostite.

Ci pentru Ea.

Veni-va zi când ea va trece pe aici. Înaltă, dreaptă, stând cu faţa către tine, citească-i ochii vii şi mişcători, cei ocrotiţi de gene-a căror umbră o cunosc;

Măsoare-ncet aceste vorbe cu buzele ei ţesute din carne (al căror gust nu l-am uitat), cu limba ei hrănită de săruturi, cu dinţii-a căror urmă încă-o port;

Cutremure-se ca un suflu – holdă mlădie-n vântul încropit – împrăştiind din sâni şi până la genunchi ritmul firesc al şoldurilor ei – pe care-l ştiu;

Atunci, acest înscris, încălecând pe spaţiu şi dănţuind pe revărsatele-i cadenţe, acest poem, acest dar, acest dor –

Dintr-o dată cojise-va de pe piatra fără suflare, ah! şubredă şi trecătoare – pentru-a se dărui vieţii Ei,

Pentru-a se duce să hălăduiască-n preajmă-i.

(Traducere de Ştefan Aug. Doinaş)

Stèle provisoire - Victor Segalen

Stèle provisoire

Ce n'est point dans ta peau de pierre, insensible, que ceci aimerait à pénétrer ; ce n'est point vers l'aube fade, informe et crépusculaire, que ceci, laissé libre, voudrait s'orienter ;

Ce n'est pas pour un lecteur littéraire, même en faveur d'un calligraphe, que ceci a tant de plaisir à être dit :

Mais pour Elle.


Vienne un jour Elle passe par ici. Droite et grande et face à toi, qu'elle lise de ses yeux mouvants et vivants, protégés de cils dont je sais l'ombre ;

Qu'elle mesure ces mots avec des lèvres tissées de chair (dont je n'ai pas perdu le goût) avec sa langue nourrie de baisers, avec ses dents dont voici toujours la trace,

Qu'elle tremble à fleur d'haleine, -- moisson souple sous le vent tiède, -- propageant des seins aux genoux le rythme propre de ses flancs -- que je connais,


Alors, ce déduit, enjambant l'espace et dansant sur ses cadences ; ce poème, ce don et ce désir,

Tout d'un coup s'écorchera de ta pierre morte, oh ! précaire et provisoire, -- pour s'abandonner à sa vie,

Pour s'en aller vivre autour d'Elle.

Wednesday 14 November 2007

This is the end beautiful friend

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
Ill never look into your eyes...again

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But youll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end

Ophelia by Millais

"she has retreated so far into her madness that she lies motionless and emotionless, oblivious of her doom."

I am not a painter. and how far could my camera ever take me?

Sunday 11 November 2007

and what is it to be the sister (1)

he said to his sister - the lonely poet - he spoke:

Da ich deine schmalen Hände nahm

Schlugst du leise die runden Augen auf,

Dieses ist lange her.

but I wasn't her. as much as I would have wished to. and my brother still sleeps the sleep of the speechless.

Saturday 10 November 2007

Wie soll ich meine Seele halten, daß
sie nicht an Deine rührt? Wie soll ich sie
hinheben über dich zu andern Dingen?


Thursday 8 November 2007

Tuesday 6 November 2007

I should not speak today

and the roses grow pale and the wine grows bitter and the light grows blind

Monday 5 November 2007

Das Romantische ist also ein Perspectiv oder vielmehr die Farbe des Glases und die Bestimmung des Gegenstandes durch die Form des Glases.

Romantismul este deci o perspectivă, sau mai degrabă culoarea lentilei şi determinarea obiectului prin forma lentilei. Clemens Brentano, Godwi.

Saturday 3 November 2007