Wednesday 12 March 2008

Towards the door we never opened





What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.
Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden. My words echo
Thus, in your mind.
But to what purpose
Disturbing the dust on a bowl of rose-leaves
I do not know.

T.S. Eliot, Quartet No. 1, Burnt Norton

19 comments:

  1. Wonderful, Roxanna.

    I'm running out of quotes here, but still:

    The light shines into the act of life for only the briefest moment- perhaps only a matter of seconds. Once it has gone and one has failed to grasp its offered revelation, there is no second chance. One may have to live the rest of one's life in hopeless depths of loneliness and remorse. In that twighlight world one can no longer look forward to anything. All that such a person holds in his hands is the withered corpse of what should have been.
    ------Murakami, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle

    Hope all is well.

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  2. C'est magnifique, j'adore ces photos :-))))

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  3. Thank you, b. I'm mischieviously happy I've managed to make you run out of quotes :-P But you still found one, and one which made me melancholic at that - "the withered corps of what should have been" is very beautiful indeed. (even if I don't like Murakami, as I've already said - or haven't I?)

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  4. Je te remercie, j'aime aussi tes fleurs! Et j'attends avec impatience que tu reviennes, la petite pause s'avere etre longue! :-)

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  5. ha, roxana, we have that in common, i also don't like Murakami. und ich mag das auch nicht, diese biologischen Bilder in Gedichten, wie du sagtest, wie das bei Nora Iuga manchmal vorkommt. ich weiss nicht, woher ich diese Namen kenne, gerade lese ich Selma Meerbaum-Eisinger und so fasziniert, bezaubert von ihr und sehe gerade, sie hat auch rumänische Gedichte übersetzt, von Discipol Mihnea. und ich hab das heimliche Verlangen, all deine Bücher zu sehen, aber eigentlich nur ihre Gegenwart spüren und sie ansehen, wie sie vielleicht sortiert sind und im Regal stehen. Nur ganz leise sein und mich von ihrer Anwesenheit verzaubern lassen ----ich hoffe, du hast einen schönen Abend.

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  6. ha, roxana, we have that in common, i also don't like Murakami. und ich mag das auch nicht, diese biologischen Bilder in Gedichten, wie du sagtest, wie das bei Nora Iuga manchmal vorkommt. ich weiss nicht, woher ich diese Namen kenne, gerade lese ich Selma Meerbaum-Eisinger und so fasziniert, bezaubert von ihr und sehe gerade, sie hat auch rumänische Gedichte übersetzt, von Discipol Mihnea. und ich hab das heimliche Verlangen, all deine Bücher zu sehen, aber eigentlich nur ihre Gegenwart spüren und sie ansehen, wie sie vielleicht sortiert sind und im Regal stehen. Nur ganz leise sein und mich von ihrer Anwesenheit verzaubern lassen ----ich hoffe, du hast einen schönen Abend.

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  8. Sigh, I sound so repetitive, but these are just gorgeous.

    And also, how many languages do you know?!

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  9. Gosh, Roxana, didn't mean to make you sad. If I could I'd send you a cinnamon roll to cheer you up :)

    Er..I've only read 250 pages of Murakami myself. But I did like this passage. It reminded me of Calvino: "the dead branches of the future"

    The fear of closing doors, as if *the moment* had passed us by but its shadow stayed with us.

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  10. Ich weiss nicht, wer Discipol Mihnea ist, ich habe nach dem Namen gegoogelt und zu meinem Bestuerzen musste ich feststellen, dass es keine einzige rumaenische Seite gibt, die ihn erwaehnt. wie ist das moeglich? sowieso kommt er insgesamt nur 4 oder 5mal vor, und fast ausschliesslich im Zusammenhang mit Selma Meerbaum-Eisinger oder Celan (der ihn auch uebersetzt haben soll). Ich wuensche dir einen wunderschoenen Abend mit deinen durchsichtigen Narzissen - und gar nicht stuermisch, auch wenn dein Sturm auch wunderbar ist.

    [ach meine Buecher - ich werde dir dazu schreiben, habe noch ein bisschen Geduld mit mir, diese Woche ist hoellisch]

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  11. oh the old cinnamon roll, should we elevate it to a real pharmakon? :-) we don't have anyhting like this here, so I'll just have to do with my bitter, but veryveryvery bitter chocolate. "dead branches of the future" is also superb. I'll have to find a picture for this one also.

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  12. I feel happy about repetition in this case :-)
    my languages... I'm a real fan of languages, I think there is nothing more fascinating in the whole world, so I just learn a new one every time I get bored [if only this were true :-)]. I guess I'm fluent in 5 (romanian included :-), used to be 6 but my spanish got lost, even if I can perfectly understand it. and of course I can understand portugese and italian too, but this is the advantage of romance languages, they come all in the same package :-).
    And I have to say that nothing compares to my experience of learning Japanese... it is shocking, unbelievable intriguing and more difficult than any other language I know of. But you know many languages yourself [and I'm afraid to ask antonia about it, it will only make me depressed :-)]

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  13. it's also 6 in my case, the elitist foul demon languages latin and greek, and then dutch and german and english and italian, whereas italian i can read better than speak and a bit of norwegian of which i know zero grammar, but can fairly well speak and read and then this semiknowledge or guessing that comes along like you say when one knows latin or something, one can guess like with spanish or french... ...but then again, the more one knows of languages the easier it gets also somehow to approach new ones, i don't know...it is anyway this thing that one never gets perfect in knowing a language, but one always gets better. and once one has given up upon perfectionism it becomes free and easy and one discovers all sorts of connections between the languages...and that is really the nice aspect, you go on associating freely and make up all sorts of lovely nutcaseish etymologies, and i am very much in love with some grammatical constructs (i know, sounds completely geeky), because they allow one to think possibilities, that maybe this or that language does not allow, but then again the other languages gives you something else. like you say roxana, it becomes also in some sense easier to learn new languages, at least that far that you can go to the baker and buy a bread...and i always have to say it is very impressive when i see people that know languages that use different signs, like japanese or arabic or anything else....so i think there is just no reason to get depressed or something...i think of languages as pure richness (but in a very meditative way, for you can't force it, can't force it to know them, really have to learn them with patience and in some sense surrender yourself unconditionally to them, at least for a while - learning languages is something that escapes globalization and all the Virilio-speedyness, they have their own time, it's a refuge in some sense and a luxury) and they are right there in the open, one "only" has to learn them and they can give so much, am very much with Humboldt here, every language gives a new Weltansicht (view of the world) and there is no Weltansicht that has the supreme masterview that everyone else has to accept. sorry for this long comment....

    [ich weiss auch nicht, wer discipol mihnea ist, vielleicht ist es auch nicht so wichtig, obwohl aber doch, es interessiert mich immer, so vernachlaessigte Dichter. ich war einfach nur neugierig...oh ja und hab das andere Humboldtzitat immer noch nicht gefunden...ja ich habe ganz viel Geduld mit den Buechern, bitte, lass dir so viel Zeit du willst und ich hoffe, du findest die verdiente Ruhe nach dieser Woche...]

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  14. it is such a wonderful comment antonia and I can only say I totally agree with you, of course I was just joking about getting depressed but there is also a hidden truth here, it is not that I envy people for mastering many languages unknown to me, it is because I always imagine how much richer they are by having access to this new Weltansicht and then I cannot stop longing for this other universe and that other universe, I know it is childish in a way. And this kind of heideggerian pondering about words and how one can unfold a different mind and soul by unfolding its being in the language - this is really a mysterium tremendum et fascinans for me. And yes, the patience, almost gentleness and the complete dedication which is needed to learn a language, is such a school of humility. And not only the words, the grammar also, you are right and I'm totally with you here (I guess this makes us both geeks then :-), but then I remember that "glamour" comes in English from "grammar", because such was the prestige of grammar in the Middle Ages and now we've completely forgotten about what it is and what it can give us. And when one learns something totally different and unique as the Japanese, then the shock of the new Weltansicht is so tremendous for nothing in our culture and in our indo-european understading of languages has prepared us for this (not only the using of signs oh no), and then one have to come back to oneself and start interogating everything anew, in this new, almost unconceivable light... and yes I too could go on about this for ages...

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  15. Andreea and Antonia, you both talk so beautifully about what it means to learn a new language that I was thinking you should maybe talk to my Elementary German students and persuade them to be more dedicated to learning the language. Any volunteers?

    Just kidding, of course :-) But lately I have discovered what an amazing experience it is also to teach someone else a language, even if that someone is not really interested in it. It makes you re-evaluate what you know of that language, in a sense forces you to place yourself outside it (if one can ever be outside language...) so that you may plunge in it even deeper. In a way, it's like re-learning it all over again...

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  16. just wanted to say, i've not forgotten, i reply later to you r., and your wonderful comment; not yet awake just now and there is so much to say about this all.

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  18. Gosh, see what I missed over the weekend! Such great comments all...

    I don't really know many languages! Only English, quite honestly...my Hindi is terrible and my French unused and rusty, Turkish and Urdu are works in pregress :D (This is not counting bits of Malayalam and Tamil which I can understand bits off and speak not very much!)

    But I totally, agree about the joy of learning a new language and also with Antonia that letting go of a perfect standard to check yourself against makes the whole thing much more enjoyable. I can imagine your experience with Japanese because it was somewhat similar with me with regard to Turkish (Btw, Turkish and Japanese are supposed to be quite close structurally, from what I know). But the whole experience of a complete different way of thinking (quite literally) that had to be inculcated was quite challenging and exhilarating and complete different from any Indo-European language.

    Re learning in a different script - I learnt the Arabic/Persian script and it's not very difficult but minor vowels are not marked in formal writings so it's very difficult to read the script if you don't already know the word!

    I didn't know the connection between glamour and grammar - how lovely that is!

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  19. I have to catch up with comments but I've been so lazy lately. Thank you all for the beautiful thoughts about learning and teaching a language.
    SZ, I am not sure, but I think linguists are divided as regards the japanese language, some think it belongs to the altaic family as turkish does, some believe that it is unique. I know about the difficulty concearning vowels in the arabic script (I like very much how it looks like, I have an Iranian friend who magnificently "drew" Rumis poems for me using some kind of carved stick).
    I only want to point out, even if I'm sure everybody knows this, that the ideogrammes in Japanese are different, because they really embody the meaning, so there can be no question of a gap between word and object, and that is why calligraphy can be a spiritual way. the kanji for water is the water and writing the kanji for water means really becoming that, and the master can achieve the fusion subject-object through one brush stroke. and of course just studying the origin and evolution of the ideogrammes opens a whole new perspective upon the world. or the grammatical constructions - I have to return to this because it is so fascinating - which hide a totally different world view, one where there is no subject anymore opposing or positing or conquering the object, not even when it comes to our sense perception. because we have to say "I see this" and "I hear that", it is the sutructure of our language which already imposes this view onto us, and we cannot escape it, already in the Upanishad the senses are called graha, meaning "grasping" the objects, catching them, making them their own. But in japanese it would be something like "this lets itself being seen, or heard", totally impersonally, there is no subject here, the subject is indeterminate and it can only contemplate the world, passively, no room for any ego or individualism - even the verb "to understand" was initially built like this, which is really so amazing. Not to speak about "can" or "to have" which shows that this indeterminate subject cannot actually do or possess anything, the "I" as we know it in the indo-european languages is a mere shadow, practically doesn't exist, it is just the indeterminate space where something comes into being. No wonder the place adverbials like "this way" or "that way" are in fact used as pronouns in japanese, meaning "I", "you" etc. Ok, now I really have to stop, but this is so fascinating (I wonder now about Turkish, if it is anything resembling this).

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