Friday, 6 April 2012

let me sit here, quietly, for a while


you must go beyond the wall.
at least once, at least one step. with your bleeding nail
you must
carve out a little hole in the brick,
your eye must at last catch
a glimpse of the other side,
before being blinded
by the pouring down
of the golden hour.


i know.
tomorrow i will put on my golden dress,
fasten my hair with a golden ribbon, the whiteness of my shoulders
aglow in the setting sun, as i cross over, into the golden sea,
as i conjure the golden fin, kneeling down
to pray for the deepest cut, for yet another
spear of light.


i know.
before that first and last wave of gold sweeping through me,
nevertheless, let me sit here, quietly, for a while. let me know of nothing but the
humble solidity of this wall, its barren geometry enough
to make peace with necessity,

whose circumference traces the outline of what one would call 'life',
my life and yours and, don't forget, the life of these branches
as well, moving restlessly in the dry wind, the life of these shadows crawling
upon the bare face of the land. let me breathe here,
for yet a while longer,
my gentleness expanding
into the gentleness of the hour,

my body draped only by the rhythmical unfolding
and receding of a soul, wishing for nothing,
knowing of no beyond.



  1. beautiful Roxana ah there is breathtaking beauty here a masterpeice for the soul on Holy Friday mind you all seems to be tied into good friday today and I wonder why haha well it is the day
    but also the theme is universal suffering and what powerful verse your words are the kneeling down to pray for the deepest cut for yet another spear of light and actually I was just talking to a friend from jerusalem with regard to the holy sepulchre church and what I said there applies -and here she lies in subjugation of religious forces and life and grief but strengthened in the acknowledgement-yes "to carve a little hole with the bleeding nail" and to be wounded and healed by the light of truth and life's suffering at the same time and as you so powerfully put it-"by the pouring down of the golden hour."

    andthe powerful images like the barren insitutions in the background -oppressive- and again the barbed wire fences echos of concentration camps and prisons and prisons of the spirit,and the bushes scraping calligraphy that can only be recognized by human existence.
    yes and the deepest rewards can be cultivated by the deepest sufferings.
    and the"humble solidity of this wall its barren geometry enough to make peace with necessity"-powerful words the protective not knowing and seeing that can provide only a minimal necessity a denial of existence and spiritual essence.
    well anyway this was my dream for today.

    sending you light kisses of joy and peace.

    ps this barren geometry reminds me of our skyscrapers here haha.

  2. Very soulfully expressed. We like walls and we hate them too. We like the shelter of walls. The protection, safety, and privacy walls afford. We build walls around our hearts at times to prevent being hurt....again. We feel safer becoming less accessible, but more lonely too. My heart is safe within the walls I put around it. Nevertheless, it aches. I love these walls. I hate these walls. I love these walls. I hate these walls. I....

  3. I could build walls around my self. I would be alone. You and I could build the walls together, then there would be the two of us. Alone. What of them on the other side? Should we let a few in? Which ones? Why? How many? We could make the room bigger. Now how many are out there? Is it possible to build an even bigger room? A really huge room? A room so big no one is left out there? Could we all be safe together in one big infinite room? Even if we started now, it would take a few hundred years I imagine. Or maybe it's not even possible. It's worth a shot though.

  4. hi my friend!well I commented on your beautiful post of nurturing nipples. I loved it.Yes I posted to three years ago.It is so beautiful to use the body landscape that way metaphorically.
    ah my friend I will be back in a week.I have to get back to printing out my memoirs here on the bridge.

    Have fun watching for the easter rabbit with your little darling.

    I love you.

  5. Beautiful images. I hope you find the quietness:)

  6. such a powerful post. i do not know what is more beautiful, the words or the images that accompany them. let me sit here, quietly, for a while, and marvel.

  7. yet one merely needs to look up,
    into the vast, the open, the infinite...

  8. Beautiful Roxana, sheerly beautiful... be well, oh golden one...

  9. Madeleine, this is a beautiful and enriching interpretation of the poem, i can see why a reading like yours works in this context! i myself am not religious, in the sense of belonging to any particular religion, but Romanians are mostly orthodox and this year holy friday would be next week, as our Easter celebration is always a week later.
    i am smiling as i can see how the 'golden fin' metaphor could also be interpreted as alluding to a christian symbol! :-) maybe it is time to expand on the image of the golden fish! (you will see what i mean, soon)
    bisous d'avril...

    all these questions, yes, they are all important, and i think every one of us has asked them, at one point or another... the image of the wall as both boundary and threshold is a fundamental one, i believe, for the way we think of our human nature...

    Elin, thank you so much for your walk on the bridge and the words of appreciation and warm wishes...

  10. Cristina, you are most than welcome, do sit here for a while, never leave... :-)

    yes. i need a post about that, too. all of these images and words are nothing but fragments of a what it means to be in the world, for me...


    more gold to come :-)

  11. cat de frumoase sunt fotografiile!:):):)cel putin a treia m-a facut sa incremenesc.lucrul la care m-a facut sa ma gandesc postarea aceasta este sentimentul de provizorat care m-a obsedat si ma obsedeaza de cand ma stiu.toate inchipuirile mele cu scenarii au in ele un abur dens de provizorat.imi imaginez adaposturi incropite peste noapte,in care nu voi ramane niciodata,mese frugale,fruste,boccele cu haine pentru toate,foarte des,prezente de oameni care stau pe un camp,nimic decat campul si cateva siluete indepartate,iar ei stau acolo,in asteptare, sunt momente in care cred ca la asta se rezuma viata,nu stii nimic,stai acolo,fara lucruri in jur,doar acele guri,absorbind oxigenul.dar nu am visat niciodata in imagini atat de frumoase :)

  12. a good place to sit, quietly, for a while

  13. i predict that your next pages will be imbued in propitious aurulent light. It's the reference to the golden dress that gives it away. This is an old interpretation trick that i learned from the nomadic gypsy people of Sri Lanka (Ceylon at the time ). But since my knowledge of the Dravidian languages was, at the time, spotty at best, i may be overstepping my bounds and indulging in faulty recollections; though i feel quite sure that the commixture of walls and bronzy, sun-flecked raiment means much the same to the snake charmer as it does to modern day blog mistresses: dazzling wisps of rippling gaiety, colors so voluptuous and slatternly that young prisms, with vestigial facial hair (a shadow of manhood), blush in their presence, and, in every garden bed on the avenue (a sight so grand that tears well in the corner of your bright eyes), flowers dance in April's breeze.

  14. Je suis restée assise un long moment sous le mur blanc ,uniforme et rassurant...avec dans ma tete des reves de poissons dorés ,des fleurs de printemps ,des chats gris dans la nuit,des amours rendus possibles ,des mots et aussi des murmures..
    Merci pour ce vrai moment de bonheur sur le pont..
    Je t'embrasse tendrement Belle Amie ..:)