Thursday, 27 March 2014

fears

 photo birch1_zps438db170.jpg








there is the fear of waking up in the middle
of the night and not knowing what to do
and also the fear of never being able
to fall asleep again
there is the fear that life turns suddenly still
and one looks behind not knowing where
the past has gone and how it was lived, and by whom
there is also the fear
of failed encounters, even (or especially so) those
one has long dreamt of
there is the fear that the phone will ring
to let one know the child is sick again
and also the fear that the stranger one passes by 
suddenly turns around and the last thing one sees
is the silver flash of an unexplainable knife
(or, for variation, the fear of a temple blow leaving one
lying there calmly and almost gracefully, accomplished, 
as one has never been able to, 
while alive) 
there is the fear that the other has already departed, or will
soon leave, without notice
the fear that this body will never again know lust
or
it will be too frail to contain
that last overwhelming wave of desire




there are so many fears
and yet
above all these fears
there rises the soft gleam of the birch 
when spring is almost 
here.






 photo birch2_zps60152ca3.jpg





28 comments:

  1. it is at the word accomplished that my breath leaves me as though by a blow. this i absolutely understand as though it is my skull which has been struck. and so you speak for all of us.

    thank god for the birch. truly. i love them.

    xo
    erin

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    1. "thank god for the birch"!!! yes oh yes you speak as if from within my soul :-)
      you know, i had written the poem during many nights, in my head, then i wrote it down for the post, and i was rereading it one last time and still something would seem... lacking - and suddenly the word "accomplished" came to me and i added that bit :-)

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  2. Roxana, this is beautiful. Image through word through image.. Love the poem (or what it shall be). (-:

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  3. Even fear on the bridge takes on an aura of beauty.

    i'm reminded of the birch forest in Ivan's Childhood, where a captain carries Masha, a young nurse, over a ravine (seduction over the abyss of fear).

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    1. oh!!!
      i know that scene, it struck me so deeply, when i saw the film, from the first time...

      it is such an honour to receive this mention here :-)

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  4. ah another beautiful masterpiece. aaaaaah the swirl of the petal the beautiful ephemeral signature of the spring of happiness.
    this is very profound writing.
    yes there are so many fears that power our lives.and as I have said before on the bridge well using a different metaphor ha ha, using many different metaphors the rich soil of life is necessarily cultivated by tension.the fear of losing our lives contributes to the wealth of existence.
    yes so many things can go wrong with our lives perhaps the only way to sum it up is to say to attempt to expel the fear of the moment.
    do you ever feel this way-sometimes I work on expelling my own fears and just trusting and having faith in the moment that unforeseen forces will protect you if you believe strongly enough and when we should arrive at weakened fragmented existences of the soul the force will still be there to undermine new fears.
    anyway my friend have a beautiful day.
    may the force be with you. haha.-star wars right?
    thankyou for this beautiful post. I feel stronger now after this meditation and yes in our own back yards the force lies in the striking of sunlight on the birch tree.
    sunlit kisses to you

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    1. i am so happy to know you feel stronger after coming to the Bridge, Madeleine, if you could see my smile now :-)
      yes, i think i try to do that as well, abandoning the fears and turning to the present moment - it is not always easy, though...

      fragrant kisses back :-)

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  5. here is what i believe: the gleam of the birch is real, and we can move toward it, and it can enter us and live there ...this light does not erase the fears (if it is an honest light), but it makes possible the words, even so....

    thank you:-))

    .

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    1. i can't thank you enough for these words, they have entered me and live there. especially that: "if it is an honest light"...

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  6. Yes...amidst the steady stream of hopes and fears we look often for opportunities to simply 'be'.

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    1. we long for that, myth, don't we?

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  7. Ah, but the eyes of those birch trees watch us when we are lost in the forest...

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    1. they might, Lynne, they just might :-)

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  8. beide bilder sind wunderschön und von einer aussergewöhnlichen reinheit. sie berühren und scheinen lebendig, wahr. es ist mir, als könne ich sie spüren. das leben...! und der text will einfach nicht zu ihnen passen...!
    ein lächeln und liebe gedanken an dich, liebste prinzessin!
    renée

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    1. aber sie sind doch als Gegenteil zum Text gedacht, als genau das, was mir hilft, diesen Aengsten standhalten zu koennen :-)

      ich danke dir, meine liebste Sanfte, so sanft wie dieses Fruehlingslicht :-)

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  9. Querida Roxana:
    Tus fotos son extraordinarias. Yo abrí un nuevo blog: http://www.thegreatdeceiv.blogspot.com, y mirá si serán extraordinarias tus fotografías, que el primer post del blog tiene una joya tuya...

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    1. Estoy tan feliz, ¡qué sorpresa! gracias! voy a ir allí inmediatamente!

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  10. Roxana:
    Soy integrante del staff de Música de Sobrevivencia y de Los enanos de Honorio. Mi nuevo blog es radioarenanegra.blogspot. com, y allí están tus fotos y tu link. Te admiro como fotógrafa y te invito a que escuches nuestros programas.
    Un gran abrazo, genia!!!

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    1. gracias por la invitación, voy a ir allí, porsupuesto!

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  11. nu am stiut,initial,ce inseamna " birch", dar am stiut imediat ca trebuie sa fie versurile tale,doar in acest fel raza aceea se cuibareste atat de cald in mine, doar tu stii sa o pui acolo,intre ramuri, mai frumoasa decat insasi implinirea si realitatea ei care, cum citeam undeva azi,nu ne este niciodata de ajuns-si de aceea ,poate,scriem, pictam:)
    si fotografiile,splendide,stii de cate ori am incercat sa fofografiez ceva asemanator primeia?...si ca am vrut sa vad pana in mijllocul florilor, acele soapte abia schitate de o penita nemasurabil de fina?... stii,da,trebuie sa stii, la fel cum stii toate gandurile mele,gonind pe strazile noptii pline de frici,si totusi,atat de fascinante, p.recum o raza

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    1. e adevarat ca m-am gandit la tine cand am scris, cel putin unele versuri, mai ales acea referire la tampla a fost pentru amandoua :-)

      dar mesteacanul are ceva magic in el, nu-i asa?

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  12. There rises the soft gleam of the birch when spring is almost here. Aquí, el otoño está pintando las hojas y nosotros te esperamos en cada uno de nuestros blogs, porque te extrañamos...

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    1. oh es otoño allí! Sí, debe ser así, aunque yo no piense ... He estado bastante ocupada recientemente, pero es un gran placer para mí visitar vuestros blogs ... y me siento honrada por vuestra amistad!!!
      :-)

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  13. and also there is this fear that the loved ones will LEAVE and nothing ever could be the same. or the fear that one day we cannot see the immense beauty beneath all these fears.

    beautiful and hunting.

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    1. there could be endless fears listed there, yes - but then the light in the birch woods would only grow stronger :-)

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